Every now and then I get a little reminder that not all types of freedom are good. Like, here I am taking a quick jaunt to Adelaide, and the only place to stay within my budget is Big Ben’s British Bed n’ Breakfast. I stayed for one night, the evening of which was spent being forced to drink hot Bovril, eat large bowls of Eton mess and watch a comedy show called ‘Minty Pythagoran: The Greatest Hits, now 60% more British!’.
The comedy was terrible, and the staff wouldn’t let us go to bed until we’d finished our beef drink and said a formal goodnight to large portraits of Queens Elizabeth, Victoria and Elizabeth II.
So yeah. Freedom, free markets, capitalism…it’s responsible for some terrible stuff. But then I’m reminded that there are snapper racks to buy in Melbourne right now, and my metaphorical jaw hits the ground again. Fishing, with snapper racks, on a personal boat? Can you imagine?
That would just be a ‘me’ thing, however, since in my reality the oceans are toxic and teeming with genetically manufactured super-beasts that were bred for war but went rogue. We definitely don’t need stainless steel fabrication of the same sort, although occasionally there will be a military operation where warships are sent out to capture a giant killer octopus, so we can catapult it right onto Sydney.
They never actually return. We hold onto hope that one day, we will be able to cage a giant, fire-breathing octopus and fling it onto the city of Sydney using a giant catapult, causing mass panic and casualties in the hundreds of thousands. Serves them right, being born in Sydney.
Not here, though. You can get a stainless steel fabrication expert, have your bait board fitted and then you’re good to go, buzzing around the bay as the joys of fishing carry your problems away. I can’t afford a boat, obviously, but we did go on a Human Class excursion to learn about stainless steel marine fabrication. Melbourne has a robust casual boating scene, so we were able to go on an hour-long cruise.
It’s times like that when I’m not even sure this is supposed to be the same planet as mine. So peaceful…so serene.
-Winston