Reckless Test Driving

It’s always awkward when a car salesman has to take a new car to the mechanic. I was showing off for a potential customer, and it went horribly wrong. They took the vehicle for a test drive to see if it was right for them. Given the model and price of the car, I had to accompany the customer. He was driving it so carefully, like a real square. After fifteen minutes I couldn’t take it anymore. Test drives are supposed to be wild! You’re supposed to go eighty through a school zone, one hundred and twenty on the freeway! What’s the point if you’re not going to break some rules?

“That’s it!” I said, opening the passenger seat at a red light. “Get out. Let me show you how to drive this baby.” I got into the driver’s seat, turned the aircon up to full blast, and went flying down the street. “Aren’t you going a little fast?” the customer asked, as I pulled a right while doing 60. “That’s fast? I’ll show you fast!” I screamed, hitting the accelerator as hard as I could.

Well. That didn’t go super well. The next few hours went by pretty quickly. There was something about an ambulance, reckless driving charges, an auto electrician near Tuncurry and a court date. I don’t really remember. If I think hard enough, I can recall the airbags going off while I was still driving. Police saying something about g-forces equivalent to a space shuttle leaving Earth’s orbit. But beyond that I’m mostly blank. I’m sure everything was fine. Hopefully Mr Brown doesn’t find his time in the hospital too unpleasant. In the meantime, I’ve got to pick the car up from the mechanic. They do the best car air conditioning service near me, which is good because I definitely messed up the aircon during the test drive.

Hopefully I’ll still be able to sell it. Maybe I can throw a two percent discount on and somebody will be interested. I’ll say the dents and scratches are part of the charm. It’s bound to work.