I’ve never liked Christmas. I find it overwhelming and feel like it’s just an opportunity for my family to question all my life decisions. I’m a single woman in my mid thirties and this has divided my family. When I told them all six years ago that I’d never have kids or get married, some of my family got very vocal about it. They said I was giving up my duty as a woman and failing to progress the family lineage, and I hear about it every single year.
For me, Christmas just brings anxiety and judgement.
Well, unfortunately, today is Christmas and this has been the worst one yet. My car broke down on the way to my extended family’s house and I had to call a car mechanic. Frankston, where I broke down, was only half way to my destination. I could imagine the reaction of my family when I called them to let them know I’d be late. Of course, I had to give them a reason as to why, because they wouldn’t just settle on that, and when I told them, I heard someone in the background say “This wouldn’t have happened if she had a husband!”
Ugh. The misogyny in my family makes me sick.
They think I’m unsuccessful because I’m not married, but I’m the only one in my family who owns a European vehicle. Services obviously cost more for me, especially when my car randomly breaks down on the side of the road, but I can afford it because I don’t have to support a family. I work hard to treat myself to expensive things. But my family will never understand that.
I’m sitting in my car down the street from the Christmas party I’m about to attend. I’m over two hours late and I know I’m going to hear about that for the rest of the night. Merry Christmas.